Info Gatherer
                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                 -- Tim Park

On the local Sailor Moon sig, I often answer various questions and
forward information on recent happenings, causing one person to ask...

> How do you know all this cool stuff????

Because.......

I am the very model of a modern Info Gatherer,
I've information plentiful, since I'm a homepage plunderer,
I know the Sailor Senshi, and I quote attacks canonical
From Mercury to Neptune, each in order astronomical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters all historical,
I understand the happenings, both simple and the abnormal,
About the latest plotlines I am teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful details about who will win and who will lose.

I'm very good at searching and resolving things ambiguous;
I know the Japan-native names of all things DiC's forsaken us:
In short, in matters anime, through many methods cleverer,
I am the very model of a modern Info Gatherer.


I know their mythic history, and details of the large space rocks;
I answer complex questions, I've a taste for paraparadox,
I quote in details all the crimes of all the evil enemies,
In comics I can demonstrate peculiar anomalies;
I can tell undoubted Starlights from the Outer and the Inner Five,
I know the native song lyrics - they're from an info site's archive,
Then I can describe battles with the blowhard Neherenia,
And relate all the airs from th'infernal nonsense Galaxia.

Then I can write an essay on some senshi exploits to inform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Eternal SM's uniform:
In short, in matters anime, through many methods cleverer,
I am the very model of a modern Info Gatherer.


In fact, when I know what is meant by "haruka" and "setsuna",
When I can tell at voice the Japan Zoisite from America,
When such affairs as rumours and the mutt'rings I know when they're true,
And when I know precisely what is meant by the term "mamoru",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern manga art,
When I know more of plotlines than a person who has yet to start
In short, when I've a smattering of megabytes coherently,
You'll say a better Info Gath'rer you will still have yet to see.

For my senshi searching, though it may at times be strenuous,
Or other times it simply seems that it is rather chivalrous,
But still, in matters anime, through many methods cleverer,
I am the very model of a modern Info Gatherer.

(I'm not quite as pompous or knowledgeable as this
 would have you believe, but it was fun to write. :)