Subject: Why I Don't Translate [VOLUME 72] From: Pirate Steve Date: 1997/09/25 Message-ID: <3429E640.6066@my.sig> Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon [More Headers] Biscuit Snatcher Sailor Moon R episode 72 Episode title Hijou no Rubeus! Kanashimi no Yonshimai Heigh-ho Rubeus! Eat your broccoli! Cooan and Beruche had been enslaved by Mistress Rei and forced to rake leaves for thirty-two cents an hour. Some of the girls were trying to hatch alien pods by holding them over the fire. Getting a crazy idea, ChibiUsa took a big bite out of one. Usagi said that was one of the most disgusting things she ever saw. Minako said that one cannot petition the Lord with prayer. Mako said that her cousin owned an Edsel. Suddenly, ChibiUsa ate the whole pod and Usagi noticed that she was going to choke, so she chased after her trying to perform the heimlich maneuver. Petz and Karaberas were in the UFO spying on their other sisters. They wanted to know how they got that horrid moon birthmark off of their heads. Then Rubeus came and asked if he looked sexy in his earring. Petz and Karaberas told him that he needed a haircut. Rubeus gave Petz a tacky ornament and said that he wanted them to go up to the sailor senshi and put KICK ME signs on their backs. Petz said that she'd rather be a green beret. At Rei's house, Usagi was going to make a sacrifice to Zuel. When Mako said that it takes talent to be a senshi, Rei said that was pretty blatant. Then, Rei said "Beam me up." Before the enterprise captain complied, we find out that Cooan is a CURE member. She rudely knocked ChibiUsa over for no reason. She and Beruche were beamed up instead. Usagi stuck ChibiUsa in the back room and told her to count the canned goods. ChibiUsa didn't think it was worth it and went to jump out the window. Looking out, she caught a glimpse of everyone transforming and was appalled by the gratuitous nudity. Sailor Mercury stopped to check her e-mail; the senshi ran off. ChibiUsa went after them because she noticed that Sailor Mars dropped her house keys. Cooan and Beruche were in the new amusement park ride, "The Sphere of Energy," a prototype run by Petz and Karaberas. Petz said "Rubious's stick is *so* good. My body tingles just by touching it." Karaberas said she wanted to touch Rubious's stick as well, but Petz knocked hey silly and said that she should look up the word 'monogamous.' Cooan and Beruche woke told Petz that her fly was down and Karaberas had a runner in her stocking. Petz passed it off and said that she didn't have a fly. In fact, all she had were two circular things strategically placed on her- Suddenly, the Sailor Senshi appeared. Sailor Venus said, "I have a monkey!" Sailor Jupiter said, "Obey the Dark Side." Sailor Mercury said, "Ask not what your country can do for you." Sailor Mars said, "Just do it." Sailor Moon said, "Thy can o' whop-ass hence be opened. In the name of the moon, I'll do something politically incorrect." Cooan and Beruche wanted Sailor Moon's autograph. Petz yelled "Duck Sushi" and flung black silly string at everyone. Sailor Jupiter tried to counter with an electric shot-put, but it didn't work. Jupiter assumed that Petz must have cheated. Using her computer, Sailor Mercury found out that Petz had a gun in her belt. Since Sailors Venus and Mars used to be airport security guards, they tried to take her down. They failed. Turns out that Petz cheated again. Cooan and Beruche begged Petz to zap them with the big zapper. Petz was nice and zapped them... even Karaberas who didn't even ask. Beruche and Cooan plummeted to the ground, but Sailors Jupiter and Mars caught them because, "Hey, free former Dark Moon members." Sailor Moon ran to Karaberas and asked her if she needed a lawyer. Karaberas softly told Sailor Moon that she fell on her bum. Cooan and Beruche started telling her about Wal-Mart's good deals on party supplies. Then Petz got upset because nobody was paying attention to her. Karaberas said that she has *got* to lay off the coffee. Sailor Mercury decided that the scene could use a more romantic twist and caused a fog. It looked like Petz was going to lose her balance, so Sailor Venus tried to toss her chain to grab hold of. When Petz dropped her zapper, though, Jupiter said "payback, wench!" and whacked her good! Rubeus appeared in the sky. Petz asked him how he floated around so nonchalantly. "Oh, this? I dunno. It's just a little thing I do. Hey, if you guys ever need me for- Look out! The stick is creating a hole into another dimension!" Well, the stick created a hole into another dimension. Nobody listened to Rubeus or moved fast enough, so they started to get sucked into the hole like a Hoover from hell. Petz was going to toss a nickel in there to make a wish, but she slipped. Seeing the chance, Cooan, Karaberas, and Beruche ran up to Petz and tried to push her in. Sailor Moon thought it might be fun to see what was in the hole. Luna said that she was too scared to go so the others called her a pussy and went without her. Finally, Cooan and Beruche told Sailor Moon that there hadn't been quite enough gratuitous nudity today, so Sailor Moon held up the crystal and made Petz and Karaberas lose their clothes. (Convenient?) ChibiUsa showed up and gasped because the fight was over. She had bought popcorn and everything. Meanwhile, Rubeus was up in his nifty UFO watching the new All-Sailor-Moon channel. ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #46 \ / "Praise the Lord, God dammit!" \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \