Subject: Re: [OW!] The Long Awaited Date From: "Steve: Your Guide to the Underworld" Date: 1997/03/31 Message-Id: <333F5710.47E5@SPAMLESS.sgi.net> Newsgroups: alt.fan.sailor-moon [More Headers] Crimson Jacket wrote: > > Jet Wolf wrote: > > The Hindu nodded serenely as he figured out what he was going to do about > > Bridgewalker's proposal..... > > Just then, Crimson Jacket jumped out of a cornfield in the corner of > the room (what a cornfield is doing in the Hindu's Hideaway is beyond > me). > > "Look!" said Jeddite. "It's Crimson Jacket!" > > "Maybe he's here to help us!" said Wendy. > > "I smell skunk!!!" Crimson Jacket yelled in a western accent. > > He then jumped back into the cornfield and disappeared. > > "Okay, that was the strangest thing Crimson Jacket has ever done." said > Wendy. > > "That was completely uncalled for!" said Jeddite. > > Hindu finally decided what to say about Bridgewalker's proposal > > "Bridgewalker," Hindu said. "I will ..." > > What will Happy Hindu say? Will it change the Otaku Wars forever? "I don't know," Noel said, "but while we're waiting, I've got a date to go on." Everyone followed Noel and Jewelle into the BOB and to the Starlight Café. (Author's Note 1: I put my notes within the body of the story, 'cause I forget about them by the end.) While the rest of the OSDF piled into the kitchen, Noel and Jewelle choose their table. Noel pulls out a chair and offers it to Mako-chan first. Then, slides another out for Jewelle. Once she is comfortable, he pushes it up to the table. "Grk!" Jewelle responds. "Not that close." "Eep." Noel says and tries to rectify the situation. Back in the kitchen, SuperSteve hummed the tune from FROGGER as he prepared a champagne cart for his companions. (Author's Note 2: You know, from the Atari 2600? HMMMM hm hm hm HMM hm hm hm... HM HM - HM HM hmmm... HM HM - hm hm - hm hm HM HM hm hm HM HM HMMM.) It was a simple procedure of placing the ice in the bucket, placing the bucket on the cart, knocking over the cart, filling the bucket back up with ice, trying to jam the bottle in the full bucket, emptying out the bucket, placing the bottle in the bucket, filling the bucket with ice, placing it on the cart and wheeling it out to the diners. "Tada," he said placing the cart along side the table. "Now then, can I get you an appetizer Miss Jewelle?" Jewelle politely requested that she not be called "Miss." "OK, Mr. Jewelle, would you care for an appetizer?" Insert ©The Jewelle Glare© here. "If I didn't leave my glaive on the glaive rack, you'd be in trouble." SuperSteve whipped out the Big Ass Key. "Never leave your weapon behind; it always ends up appearing in other threads without you." Tucking it under his right arm, he continued, "besides, it's a joke. Kind of like Jason being a threat, if you will." A loud crash came from the kitchen followed by Wendy's voice. "WHO THE HELL LEFT ICE ALL OVER THE FLOOR?" Noel piped up. "Could you bring us some nachos please?" "Sure thing." SuperSteve turned to leave, successfully smacking Noel in the arm and clubbing Jewelle in the head with the B.A.K. (Author's Note 3: Sorry, but I owed Jewelle that.) "You big oaf!" "Relax, and allow me," says Noel grasping the chilled bottleneck and removing it from the ice. After removing the cap and waiting for the fizz to subside, Noel sniffed the liquid. "Divine." Then he poured a quantity first into Jewelle's glass and then into his own being extra cautious not to have it foam over. "And now, my dear, let us drink to a beautiful relationship whilst I drink in your exquisite beauty. So, um, down the hatch, baby!" Simultaneously, they emptied their glasses of Jolt. (Author's Note 4: Gotcha! They're 14, what do you want them to drink?) Noel raised his eyebrows a few times. "What do you think so far?" "It's very nice Noel, but please stop trying to play footsies with me under the table." Surprised at such a statement, Noel lifted up the tablecloth and had a look. "Aha, I knew it." He reached under the table and pulled out the culprit- Bob Dole. "What are you trying to do, ruin my image?" "Bob Dole is sorry about that, but Bob Dole was hoping one of you would drop a french fry or something. Bob Dole is starved. Mind if Bob Dole joined you?" SD BOB DOLE IN KHAKI FUKU SCENE SWITCH! The remainder of the OSDF are in the kitchen trying to toss ice down each other's shirts. Jeddite is able to snatch up the plate of nachos and exit the hectic kitchen bringing them out to Noel and Jewelle. Bob Dole says, "Thanks, can Bob Dole have something to dip the nachos in? Say, what would you guys like?" Jewelle: "What do you have?" Noel: "What do we have?" Jeddite: "HEY, WHAT KIND OF SAUCE DO WE HAVE?" SuperSteve (OS): "WE'VE GOT PICANTÉ, STOP IT WENDY, CHEESE-" Noel: "What's a 'stop it Wendy'?" Jewelle: "What kind of cheese?" Noel: "What kind of cheese?" Jeddite: "WHAT KIND OF CHEESE?" SuperSteve (OS): "CHEDDAR, VELVEETA, TOE, MOZZARELLA, WHEEE- HEE-HOO-HOOOOO" Noel: "What's 'wheee-hee-hoo-hoooo'?" Jewelle: "How about some simple nacho cheese?" Bob Dole: "Bob Dole likes nacho cheese." Noel: "Nacho cheese." Jeddite: "NACHO CHEESE." SuperSteve: "Damn straight that's not yo' cheese!" Immediately he appears carrying a hot crock of the cheese and shaking whole ice cubes out of his shirt. As he goes to place it on the table, Jewelle stops him. "Could you please put that key elsewhere until I'm done eating?" SuperSteve ponders for a moment. "Well, there's only ONE other place I'd trust it." Noel nudges him and whispers, "C'mon, be a pal." SS exits. Jeddite scowls at Bob Dole who is looking over the menu. Are you all ready? Noel: "Could I get the squid on a stick?" Jewelle: "Filet Mignon au jus. You're paying, right Noel?" Noel: "Uh..." Bob Dole: "Bob Dole would like the senior portion spaghetti." "Right!" Jeddite leaves Noel and Jewelle alone to discuss life or whatever. ** INSERT ROMANTIC SCENES HERE. Noel? DINNER IS SERVED Write in at your own leisure. ** Jewelle noticed that Noel consistently dropped food into his lap. As a matter of fact, it was more like he *placed* food in his lap out of her view. He seemed to be reaching over to the other chair- then it occurred to her "YOU'RE FEEDING YOUR JUPITER DOLL?" "You sound surprised. I'm sorry, you didn't want me to feed you, too. Did you? How's your food anyway?" "Bob Dole's spaghetti is fine, thanks." Bob Dole answered. Noel: "I didn't ask you. It's your fault if she doesn't like this." Just then, Ming walked by and commented, "Hey, how come I'm suddenly in the otaku wars?" "Because I wrote you in, Joe Bob," Steve said. "I might as well, since I'm such a 'smart ass'." Steve winks at CAMERA. An SD Jeddite appears only to say "Hey, don't do that! It's a Minako trait." and poke him in his open eye. "GAH!" was the response. Ming laughs at Steve. "Ha, she got you good. Haahaahaa. Serves you right for worshipping the senshi who's Mamoru's double. So, what are you going to do about it without your key?" (Author's Note 5: BWAHAHA!) "Thanks for giving this back, SuperSteve," said Sailor Pluto who was holding the B.A.K. *and* a bottle of Jolt.. "I knew I was going to need it for doing this." CLUB! Ming falls unconscious unto Bob Dole's spaghetti. Sailor Pluto puts the B.A.K. back into SuperSteve's possession again and they walk off together to elsewhere on the ship. "So, uh, wanna do this again sometime?" Noel asked his date. Sailor Jewelle looked Noel dead in the eye and said... Jewelle, you're reaction, please. -- _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #21 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor Clinton saying something intellegent. |