_______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #1 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Sure you can kick me there." | _______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #2 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "My grandma just LOVES Nine Inch Nails."| ______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #3 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "The pope just KICKS ASS!" | _______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #4 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Look at the breasts on HIM!" | _______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #5 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Here, have some money." | _______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #6 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Your posterior smells nice." | _______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #7 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "It's *only* a Lamborghini." | _______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #8 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Merry f**king christmas." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #9 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "DIC is wonderful." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #9 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "DIC is so damn cool." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #9.5 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Happy Boxing Day." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #10 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Those nuns drank all my beer again." | ______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #11 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "No thanks, I'd rather drive the Yugo."| ______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #12 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Hey, the bearded lady is kinda cute." | ______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #13 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Schwarzenegger is such a wuss." | _______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #14 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "How do you keep your back hair so nice?"| _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #15 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Woody Allen beat me up." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #16 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Nice fish." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #17 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Can I borrow your nipples?" | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #18 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Don't forget your monkey." | ____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #19 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Profanity, my ass!" | __________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #20 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Yum, this tastes like shit." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #21 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor Clinton saying something intellegent. | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #21.5 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor Stephanie saying something nice. | ______________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #22 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "I seem to have left my penis at home." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #23 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "But Windows 95 is always so stable." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #24 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "No, my wheelchair is only a V-6." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #25 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "That's the last time I eat glass." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #26 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Up yours, your honor." | _____________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #27 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "Someone tell that mime to shutup!" | _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #28 | "Another helping of gruel, please." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (Semi-ashamed to be a member) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (of the "superrace") _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #29 | "Nevermind, I *found* my virginity." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (I'm a lesbian, too.) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (***************************) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #29 | "Nevermind, I *found* my virginity." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (Then again, there's another) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (connotation for "Wendy.") _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #29 | "Nevermind, I *found* my virginity." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (Pay attention. Someday, I'll) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (make a mistake.) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #29 | "Nevermind, I *found* my virginity." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (What? I was sharing a lane with) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (a flatbed logging trailer. _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #30 | "Oh shit, here comes NINJA MONK!" ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (*****************************) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (***************************) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #30 | "Oh shit, here comes NINJA MONK!" ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (Oh, and I like their outfits.) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (***************************) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #31 | "Thanks for the machete, Mom." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (*****************************) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (***************************) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #32 | "I had a Bugler; now I'm all wacky." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (After drinking 6oz of beer he said) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ ("Dude, I'm all f**ked up") (Then, he want in the bathroom and peed on the floor.) (The host doesn't like to invite him over anymore.) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #33 | "I sure wish I was as bald as him." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (Hi, Glen!) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (***************************) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #34 | "Oh goodie, I got some spam!" ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (Any questions about the rest) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (of the sixth season?) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #35 | "Hey... we left the noodles." | & "Hey... lost a Coke." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (Uh-oh, he's mad.) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (***************************) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #36 | "You're out of soap in the restroom." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (*****************************) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (***************************) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #37 |"There's not enough internet sex sites." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (*****************************) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (***************************) _____________________________________________________________________ Steve Allen Richards | Things you don't hear every day #38 | "Quick! Step in that." Usenet bots: Spam me here -------> DO NOT MAIL HERE news:alt.tv.tiny-toon { ĤĴŝ ) news:alt.fan.sailor-moon ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #39 \ / "OK, *now* I've got time for the pain." \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #40 \ / "I'll bet I'm faster than that pit-bull." \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #41 \ / "What? Afraid of a little axe-murderer?" \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #42 \ / "So THAT'S where I left my spleen!" \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #43 \ / A coherant song by Cobain or Dylan. \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #44 \ / "No, I won't accept your million dollar bribe." \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #45 \ / Just say "NO THANK YOU" to drugs. \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #45.5 \ / Wan... tu... suri. \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #46 \ / "Praise the Lord, God dammit!" \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Nice guy extraordinare! \ / Replying to me? Decode this: \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #47 \ / "Where? I don't see the invisible man!" \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Plagiarize me! It's the fad. \ / Replying to me? Decode this: -> {cawdor (at) sgi (dot) net} \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #48 \ / "Pardon me sir, but your bum is on fire." \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Plagiarize me! It's the fad. \ / Replying to me? Decode this: -> {cawdor (at) sgi (dot) net} \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #49 \ / "This morning's opening hymn will be Manson." \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Plagiarize me! It's the fad. \ / Replying to me? Decode this: -> {cawdor (at) sgi (dot) net} \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ______________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #50! \ / "Damnit, Steve... those Things You \ / Don't Hear Every Day aren't funny at all!" \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Keep Plagiarizing me and die. \ / Replying to me? Decode this: -> {cawdor (at) sgi (dot) net} \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #51 \ / "Every girl needs her own SuperSteve." ;) \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Keep Plagiarizing me and die. \ / Replying to me? Decode this: -> {cawdor (at) sgi (dot) net} \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #52 \ / "For Halloween, I dressed up as a nudist." \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Keep Plagiarizing me and die. \ / Replying to me? Decode this: -> {cawdor (at) sgi (dot) net} \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ________________________________________________________ / Things you don't hear every day #53 \ / "It's okay, nothing but a brain hemorrhage." \ /------------------------------------------------------------\ / Steve Allen Richards: Keep Plagiarizing me and die. \ / Replying to me? Decode this: -> {cawdor (at) sgi (dot) net} \ / Spamming me with a Usenet bot?: Try this adress \ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #53 Ż \/ sgi. | | adress \ "It's okay, nothing but a brain hemorrhage." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #54 Ż \/ sgi. | | adress \ "There aren't enough rats." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #55 Ż \/ sgi. | | adress \ "I'm looking forward to my proctologist visit."/ net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #56 Ż \/ sgi. | | adress \ "My, that's a lovely hairy mole." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #57 Ż \/ sgi. | | adress \ "I got email from Jet Wolf!" / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #58 Ż \/ sgi. | | adress \ "God, I love finals." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #59 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "It'd be neat to see Santa naked." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #60 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "I ride a giant chicken." / net | ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #61 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "Waiter, there's a midget in my soup." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #62 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "This AOL thing works great." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #63 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ Ed saying that you *didn't* win $11,000,000. / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #64 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "Telemarketers don't call me often enough." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #65 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "Damn West Virginia and their mountains!" / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #66 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "She left me for... BOB DOLE!" / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #67 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "At least we can count on the postal system."/ net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #68 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "Why do my utility bills keep going down?" / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #69 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ *looks at number* Dude, I'm not going there / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #70 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "Oh, I just love my alarm clock." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #71 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "Why don't you invite your contageous friend?" / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #72 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "I finished my homework before it was due." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #73 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ *Will trade bologna for love* / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #74 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "I wish April 15th came around twice a year." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #75 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "I think all those muscles look STUPID." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ #76 "Let me clean up after the dog!" ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #77 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "9/10 eskimos prefer loincloths to togas." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ #78 "Dad, can I borrow your girdle?" #79 "Can I watch you trim your toenails?" #80 "Buy from Microsoft; Bill needs the money." #81 "God, I'm glad I'm overweight." #82 "I've always liked burlap underwear." #83 "I want to drive across the country in a Geo Metro" #84 "If only I could be as sexy as Rush Limbaugh." ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #85 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "And you have a nice day too, Mr. Hussein." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ______ /\ ______________________ /\ ______ / Spam \____/\___/ \__/ Steve Allen Richards \__/ \___/\____/cawdor\ | Proof \ / \ / \/ \/ \ / \ / at | | e-mail \/ Ż Things you don't hear every day #87 Ż \/ sgi. | | address \ "Live off of the land. Eat dirt." / net | ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ _____________________________________________________________________________ Things you don't hear every day #94 | Steve Allen Richards | The Thane of Cawdor "I remember when I had amnesia." | _____________________________________________________________________ Sir Steve Allen Richards Sr. | Things you don't hear every day #1,959 | "Bob Dole is a fine young man." ----------------------------/|\-------------------------------------- news:alt.fan.sailor-moon / \ (I gotsa more, too.) news:alt.tv.tiny-toon / ĤĴŝ \ (But, it'll have to wait.)