"UltraSuperFriends" Powerpuff Girls fan fiction by Rich WilsonSCENE: EXTERIOR. JUSTICE PARK - DAY
Cherry blossoms litter an open plaza with a large circular water fountain. Warm breezes blow the petals around and the trees wave lazily on this sunny Spring afternoon. Behind the plaza sits a white-marble building, two hundred feet wide and fifty feet tall with an ionic column on each side. In front, there is a large, glass-covered archway which extends thirty feet above the building and bears its name, "HALL OF JUSTICE."
CUT TO:
SCENE: INTERIOR. HALL OF JUSTICE BRIEFING ROOM- DAY
The room is the size of a gymnasium and is decorated with stark white floor tiles. The walls are beige, though most of them are covered with displays, control panels, various types of computer equipment, and a twelve-foot monitor screen. In contrast, there is plenty of open floor space, as all desks and panels are against the walls, except for a five-foot square table-height panel in the center of the room.
Besides more computer displays and such, there is a large square red light, shaped like an upside-down brownie pan, raised in the center of the table. Suddenly, it starts to blink slowly, accompanied by slow sweet beeps. The large display on the wall lights up with the message, "TroubAlert (tm) SOFTWARE REVISION 2.0.2b - DIAGNOSTICS COMPLETE. SYSTEM ON-LINE. Thank you for choosing TroubAlert (tm)."
Double doors to the right of the big display open up. SUPERMAN, WONDER WOMAN, BATMAN, and AQUAMAN enter. Batman notices the display first.
BATMAN: Oh good, they got our check. I was starting to worry.
WONDER WOMAN: Thank Hera! Having to monitor world events on all of those cable news stations was starting to get on my nerves. I was ready to ask for my job back at the I.A.D.C.
AQUAMAN: More like "Thank the Wayne Foundation." With all the cutbacks, their support is all that keeps us going sometimes.
They take their seats at the center console.
WONDER WOMAN: You're right. (to Batman) Thanks, B.
BATMAN: Don't mention it. I just wish I could do more. If the foundation's holding company went public there would be much more money for us and the other organizations, but then I would be liable to the stockholders to keep costs down, so I wouldn't have the freedom to spend as much.
SUPERMAN: We've been so busy fighting evil super geniuses that we haven't kept up with the grant applications and corporate sponsorship proposals. Even Diana giving up her secret identity to work here full-time has not made up for the extra work.
AQUAMAN: And whenever there is a break, some misguided scientist wreaks havoc in the name of his or her cause and we must step in to clean up the mess.
WONDER WOMAN: It is too bad that we don't have junior members anymore. They kept up with the bills, grant applications, and even the cleaning. Jayna and Zan could really make those big front windows shine!
BATMAN: I remember: "FORM OF a mop-wielding giraffe," "SHAPE OF really soapy water." Yeah, that was about the only thing those two could do well at first.
AQUAMAN: You know, they really developed into great superheroes during their eight years here. Hey, has anyone heard from them recently? Since they returned to their home planet we sort of lost touch.
WONDER WOMAN: They've been busy too, being the only two superheroes on their world. But, speaking of junior members, I did get a call from Wendy last month: she is still a canvasser for Greenpeace. Wonder Dog stayed in crime fighting, joining the Miami police canine unit, and Marvin graduated from medical school last year and is a veterinarian at Sea World.
SUPERMAN: Oh yeah. (chuckling) Remember when we finally realized that those two had no super powers?
BATMAN: (laughing out loud) Yeah, three years and we thought he could do SOMETHING just because he wore a cape!
They all laugh so long and hard that tears come to their eyes. As they settle down ROBIN enters, carrying his book bag.
ROBIN: Holy nitrous oxide! What did I miss? (He quickly takes his seat next to Batman and starts to take papers out of his bag.)
SUPERMAN: We were just reminiscing about the junior member program.
WONDER WOMAN: It's too bad we can't get some new members.
AQUAMAN: Why not? As I remember, the start-up expenditures were not that much: the local schools provided tutoring; we have spare rooms here; and the stipend was minimal, at least for a short-term program. The only thing we fell short on at first was the training, and we eventually got it right.
BATMAN: You're absolutely right, Aquaman. With you and Wonder Woman here full time and Robin out of school for the summer we could get some newbies off to a good start.
WONDER WOMAN: And, this could also give us some good press: the right faces would really help with public funding and corporate sponsors. Then we could afford to extend the program and keep them on for a few years.
SUPERMAN: We just need to find some bright, impressionable superheroes who will actually do what their told. But most teenagers - especially superhero teenagers, (to Robin) present company not included, are rebellious. Perhaps we need someone younger.
BATMAN: Kids who are smart, resourceful - kids who will take initiative when fighting crime, doing errands, and even completing their schoolwork.
AQUAMAN: But who?
ROBIN: Well, believe it or not, I received a letter from this girl yesterday....
OTHER FOUR (teasing): Ooooooooooh...
BATMAN (still teasing): Robin has an admirer!
ROBIN (smirking with mild embarrassment): Holy immaturity, you guys! Anyway, (pulling an envelope from his book bag) I thought it was a joke at first, but before my final exam today I did a little research and it all checks out. Listen to this: (reading the letter)
"Dear Mr. Robin, I saw you interviewed on E! last night and I must express how much I am impressed with your ability to be a super crime fighter and balance it with a social life. As superheroines ourselves, my sisters and I often find it difficult being so different from our classmates and having the extra responsibilities of fighting crime and saving the world.
"As the leader, I must express our thanks to you for taking time to give advice to super youngsters such as ourselves. Also, my sisters insist that I write that it is 'really cool' that you do gymnastics and ride a motorcycle. We are happy to know that there are others such as yourself protecting the world and having a somewhat normal life."
ROBIN (handing out other papers): Here is my other research. So, what do you think?
The other four review the papers for a minute. Together, they look up at one another and smile.
CUT TO:
SCENE: INT. THE UTONIUM HOME - DAY
PROFESSOR UTONIUM is coming down the stairs, carrying a stack of suitcases.
PROFESSOR (smiling, as usual): Now hurry up, girls. They will be here any minute to pick you up.
BLOSSOM and BUTTERCUP enter, carrying their backpacks. In a flash, they take the suitcases from his arms and place them by the front door.
BUTTERCUP: Girl, this is gonna be awesome! We'll be fighting criminals, stopping disasters...
BLOSSOM: Learning advanced investigative techniques, studying all sorts of new things...
PROFESSOR: I am so happy for you, girls. Say, where is Bubbles?
BUTTERCUP: That baby! She's probably hiding under the bed.
BLOSSOM: Professor, Buttercup told Bubbles that they won't let her take Octi with her, and I said they would, but Bubbles believed Buttercup, and...
PROFESSOR (calling upstairs): Bubbles! Come on down - you can bring Octi with you.
BUBBLES floats downstairs, clutching Octi with both arms and looking sad. Professor takes Bubbles in his hands and sits on the steps, putting her on his knee.
PROFESSOR: Aw, Bubbles, why are you so sad? You are going on a great adventure. You'll meet new people, make new friends, and see all sorts of wondrous and amazing things.
BUBBLES: But I'm gonna miss all my friends, and Miss Keane, and most of all YOU! (She starts to cry and Professor hugs her)
BLOSSOM: Besides, it is only a one month trial, so you can always leave if you really don't like it.
Blossom and Buttercup join them on the steps, one on each side, and start a big group hug. Professor picks them up onto his lap also and hugs all three.
PROFESSOR: Now girls, I am going to miss you too. I don't know what I'll do without you here to brighten up my days, but I will still be happy because you will be with other superheroes, learning all sorts of exciting things, and you will still be together. You can send me letters and pictures as often as you like, and your room will always be here for you. As soon as I am done teaching summer courses I'll visit, and you can show me all of the neat places you find in Washington, D.C. But no matter where you are, I will always be with you in your hearts, and you girls will ALWAYS be in mine.
As the four close their eyes in a tight hug, the doorbell rings.
BUTTERCUP (excited): I'll get it!
Buttercup races to the front door and opens it. Standing in the doorway is Wonder Woman, wearing her red, white, and blue cape. Blossom and Bubbles get up and walk to the door also, followed by Professor Utonium.
WONDER WOMAN (kneeling down): Why hello! You must be Buttercup. (extending her hand and shaking Buttercup's mitt) I've read and heard so much about you, but it is great to finally meet you.
BUTTERCUP (awestruck): Hi, uh...
BLOSSOM (interrupting): On behalf of the Powerpuff Girls, let me say what an honor it is to meet you and...
BUTTERCUP (elbowing Blossom): Not now, you aren't in charge anymore, 'member?
BUBBLES (extending her mitt and shaking Wonder Woman's hand): It is nice to meet you. Your tiara is real pretty.
WONDER WOMAN (smiling): Thank you. You must be Bubbles. (pointing to Octi) Who is your friend?
BUBBLES: This is Octi! He's an octopus and he is really good and he never does anything bad and won't be any trouble, except that once he grew really big and tried to destroy...
BUTTERCUP (loudly whispering): Not now, Bubbles!
PROFESSOR: Hi, I'm Professor Utonium. And you are...?
WONDER WOMAN: Oh, hi, I am Wonder Woman. I am here to pick up the girls and fly them to the Hall of Justice in D.C.
PROFESSOR (suspiciously eyeing her costume): Oh, so "Wonder Woman," you can fly too?
WONDER WOMAN: Well, yes. Oh, but not like them. I have a jet plane.
BLOSSOM: Really! You fly a plane? Wow!
PROFESSOR (condescending): Oh, and where is this plane of yours?
WONDER WOMAN (pointing to an empty section the street): It's out front, over there, but you can't see it because it is invisible.
PROFESSOR (nervously putting his hands on Bubbles' and Buttercup's shoulders, as if shielding them): Wonder Woman flies an invisible plane, really?
BLOSSOM: Professor, she really is Wonder Woman and she does have an invisible plane - I checked it out on their web site.
PROFESSOR: Okay, if you say so, Blossom. (To Wonder Woman) I'm sorry for being so cautious, but there are all types of weird people in this world...
WONDER WOMAN: That's all right, Professor. Don't worry, we'll take good care of your daughters and you can e-mail them, or me, to check on them whenever you want. (handing Professor a card) You can even call them, (muttering softly) but just not collect. (normally) Anyway, we must get going. Girls, go ahead and put your bags in the plane.
Wonder Woman points a small remote at the street and pushes a button. There are two beeps as a cargo door opens in the middle of the air. The girls pick up their suitcases and load the plane up while Professor Utonium and Wonder Woman walk out towards the plane. Professor Utonium hugs and kisses each girl on the forehead as they get into the plane.
WONDER WOMAN (shocked): What, no kiss for me!? (smiling) Just kidding.
As Professor Utonium reaches to shake her hand, Wonder Woman gives the Professor an Amazon hug and reassures him that the girls will be all right. As she gets into the plane, the still-smiling Professor grips his sore ribs where her breast-plate hit him. However, the that is not why he has a tear in his eye.
CUT TO:
SCENE: INT. HALL OF JUSTICE BRIEFING ROOM- NIGHT
Superman, Batman, Robin, and Aquaman are playing cards at the center console when the double doors open and Wonder Woman enters with the Powerpuff Girls. The four men immediately put their cards down and stand up to greet them. After introductions, Robin leaves to get their suitcases.
AQUAMAN (to Bubbles): Oh, I see you are a fan of octopus rubescens. (pointing to Octi) They are one of my favorites.
BUBBLES: This is Octi! (To Octi) Say hi to Aquaman, Octi.
BUTTERCUP (muttering): Stupid octopus.
AQUAMAN (to Buttercup): Actually, Buttercup, octopi are among the smartest and best developed of all marine creatures. They can change colors faster than most other creatures, are extremely flexible, and can even learn just by watching. I have extensive contact with many different varieties and they have been a great help to us many times. Perhaps you girls would like to see some real octopi sometime, the kind that would not attack your home town.
BLOSSOM: Wow! That would be really great. (She elbows Buttercup)
BUTTERCUP: Sorry. But everyone is talking about Octi and I just want to get started with crime fighting.
SUPERMAN: Soon enough, gir.. (catching himself) ladies. You've had a long flight and there is much to do. However, being a super crime fighter takes discipline, training, and a good night's sleep. Aquaman and I set up a room for you, and after breakfast tomorrow, Aquaman will review some orientation material with you. Afterwards, you will join us for the morning briefing.
Robin and Wonder Women lead the girls out another door and take them to their room. As they leave, Robin, Blossom, and Buttercup are talking about crime while Wonder Woman asks Bubbles about the Professor's marital status.
When they arrive in their room, they are welcomed by three small vases with fresh cut flowers, one on each nightstand by their beds.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
SCENE: INT. HALL OF JUSTICE BRIEFING ROOM- MORNING
All of the heroes enter, still complimenting Aquaman and Bubbles on the waffles they made for breakfast. As they approach the center console, the heroes stand behind their chairs and wait for Superman to speak, the girls standing together in front of him.
SUPERMAN (calmly pacing as he speaks): Once again, I want to welcome Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup to the Hall of Justice. Having super abilities and skills also means having special responsibilities to protect the citizens of the world against crime and help in time of disasters. But just having abilities is not always enough: you must also know how to use them and work as a team to tackle much bigger problems than any one superhero ever could alone....
As Superman turns while speaking and pacing, Batman raises a hand next to his head and makes the "talking puppet motion" with a mocking facial expression. The other heroes struggle to keep from laughing, but the girls are paying too much attention to Superman to notice the light-hearted humor. Batman knocks it off before Superman turns around.
SUPERMAN (continuing): We all have our strengths, but we also have weaknesses. Therefore, we have carefully studied your profiles and will assign each of you duties which will encourage you to develop the skills that you need improvement in while also continuing to grow in the areas that you are strong in already. Also, while you young ladies are very effective as a team when working together, we thought it would be best to split you up so that you can absorb our team methods more quickly. With past junior members there has been an occasional tendency to take a bit "too much" initiative and disobey instructions from senior members: having you work directly with us will keep the lines of command and communication clear. So, Blossom will be with Wonder Woman, Bubbles with Batman and Robin, and Buttercup will be with me. Any questions? (seeing Bubbles' raised mitt) Yes, Bubbles?
BUBBLES: When you said "citizens of the world" did you mean just people, or people and animals? (gradually becoming more distressed) And if so, what about plants!? And bugs!? And clouds! And space aliens! And...
SUPERMAN (interrupting): We are here to help anyone and anything in trouble.
BUBBLES (relieved): PHEW!
Before they can sit down the TroubAlert (tm) flashes and a horribly-loud siren fills the room for a moment. The large monitor lights up with the image of an older mustached gentleman in an Air Force uniform, COLONEL WILCOX.
WILCOX: SuperFriends, and new members, I'm sorry to disturb you, but disaster has struck: earlier this morning: three oil tankers in the northern Pacific Ocean were sunk under suspicious circumstances. According to rescued crewmembers on each of the ships, they were suddenly hit and began to take on water, but they don't know what caused the damage. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured.
BATMAN (checking a computer): According to electronic signaling, two of the tankers made automated contact with the same cargo ship, "Silver Hammer," within the last two days, so perhaps they saw something. (pausing) That's interesting, the ship was bought by Edison House Coffee in January, but they went out of business a year ago.
ROBIN: Holy shell-corporation game, Batman! Edison House has an abandoned warehouse on the waterfront in Gotham City.
AQUAMAN: We have to do something about all that leaking oil.
WILCOX: Cleanup ships have been deployed and are working on recovery, Aquaman, but they are stretched to the limit.
WONDER WOMAN: All right, how about Superman, Aquaman, and Buttercup hurry out there to help with the cleanup. Blossom and I will follow you and help search for clues to the sinkings. Meanwhile, Batman, Robin, and Bubbles will see what they can find out about Edison House or any other ships that were in the area.
Col. Wilcox signs off and the superheroes head out on their assignments.
SUPERMAN (picking up Aquaman): Up, up, and away! (he flies away)
BUTTERCUP (looking slightly confused): Uh, up and at 'em! (she follows them)
CUT TO:
SCENE: EXT. THE PACIFIC OCEAN - EARLY DAWN (with time difference from D.C.)
Superman, Aquaman, and Buttercup, hovering high above the water in a cloudless sky, can barely spot three oil slicks far below and some distance from one another.
AQUAMAN: Drop me in low in the middle and I'll call for undersea backup. The one to the west looks the worst, so you may want to start there.
They fly in to a safe altitude to drop Aquaman off and he dives into the choppy sea. Superman and Buttercup head west and use their super breath to corral the free-floating oil into the collector ships. Meanwhile, Aquaman uses his aquatic telepathy to warn his marine friends to leave the area until the spill can be cleaned up. He also calls upon blowfish and whales to carry large quantities of oil-eating bacteria from deep below to help break down the missed oil.
After clearing up most of the spills, the three regroup near the surface. Superman and Buttercup each have a LARGE piece of the ships' hulls in their arms.
AQUAMAN: It looks like the immediate danger is over. I'll stay here and start checking for clues below and meet with Wonder Woman and Blossom when they arrive. Great work, Buttercup!
SUPERMAN: Yes, your earnestness and determination were of invaluable help. We should head back to report in and do some more research on these ships.
BUTTERCUP: Can't we call in with a cell phone or something instead of heading all the way back?
AQUAMAN: Unfortunately, we don't have room in the budget for cell phones, and pay phones are too expensive these days.
SUPERMAN: Yes, and it is tough to keep enough change in your pockets while flying around at supersonic speeds. Besides, we need to examine these hull sections back at the lab. We can leave voice-mail for Wonder Woman to rendezvous with Aquaman.
Buttercup and Superman head back to the Hall of Justice with their salvaged evidence.
CUT TO:
SCENE: EXT. INVISIBLE JET, ABOVE THE PACIFIC OCEAN - MORNING
Wonder Woman is flying and checking her invisible instruments while Blossom scans the ocean with her acute vision.
BLOSSOM: Gee, this is much more comfortable than flying on my own, (frowning) especially now that I'm not in the back seat with Buttercup hogging it. (smiling again) And since it's invisible I can see just as much as if I was flying. How did you make an invisible plane? Is it the latest in stealth technology?
WONDER WOMAN: Actually, my sisters built it for me around 1940, using an alloy of feminum, along with various carbon fibers and polymers.
BLOSSOM: In 1940? But you look so young and pretty! How many sisters do you have?
WONDER WOMAN: Thank you. I guess the past three hundred years have been kind to me, but please don't tell anyone my age. Actually, I only have one real sister, Drusilla, who is about seventy but looks twenty. But where I'm from, we all consider one another to be sisters, even if we aren't related.
BLOSSOM: And all the men are considered brothers?
WONDER WOMAN: Well, there are no men on Paradise Island - they are forbidden from being there.
BLOSSOM: Why, because boys get in more trouble and demand more attention in school?
WONDER WOMAN (uncomfortable): Something like that....
BLOSSOM: I can't imagine having no boys around, especially the Professor. And Buttercup would HATE it because she loves soccer and football and stuff.
WONDER WOMAN: Well, I didn't think much of it since I grew up there, and we played PLENTY of sports together - I'm sure your sister would enjoy herself there. (thoughtful) It's still great when I go back to visit, but after living in a co-ed society for so long I can't imagine living there again, either. Now I understand why my mother would only allow one of us to leave to monitor and help the outside world.
BLOSSOM: You must get lonely...
WONDER WOMAN: It has been hard: at home my mother is the queen and I was a princess, but when I first moved to America I had to create a secret identity, get a job, and I couldn't have close friends because they might find out who I really was. Sure, I met a couple of special men over the years, but it would have never worked out... After the war I even went home for many years, but the world still needed help and I couldn't stay away. Fortunately, I met up with the SuperFriends, and now with you. As a matter of fact, when we are alone or just with the rest of the team, you can call me by my real name: Diana.
Blossom and Diana smile at each other and grip hands (well...) for a moment to express their new friendship. However, Blossom's smile suddenly turns to terror when she sees a....
BLOSSOM: MISSILE!
Wonder Woman slams the yoke forward, sending the invisible jet screaming down towards the water. The missile's proximity fuse detonates as it passes over them, creating great turbulence but leaving the plane mostly unharmed.
WONDER WOMAN: How did they detect the invisible jet?
CUT TO:
SCENE: DECK OF "SILVER HAMMER" - MORNING
A miniature missile launcher on deck is being operated by DR. FELICIA LIND while DR. RONALD ATZMEY stands behind her. They are both wearing long white lab coats and thick glasses, though Dr. Lind is much less nerdy-looking than Dr. Atzmey. A couple of CREWMEN are swabbing the deck and tending to the lines.
LIND (to herself): Your plane may be invisible to radar, but your costume has more than enough metal to home in on, Wonder Woman.
ATZMEY (worried): That was too close, Felicia. I thought we just wanted them to stay away.
LIND: If we don't offer much of a threat then they won't stay away, Ronnie boy. Now do you want to help our cause or not? (pauses to adjust her glasses) All right, set me up again.
Dr. Atzmey loads another heavy missile into the launch mechanism and Dr. Lind smiles evilly as she launches it.
CUT TO:
SCENE: EXT. WATERFRONT DISTRICT, GOTHAM CITY - DAY
Tall abandoned warehouses and factory outlet stores line the street by the docks. There are many old billboards and decrepit advertisements high above the quiet, dirty streets below. The Batmobile quietly pulls into an alley about two blocks from the Edison warehouse. Batman and Robin jump out, and Bubbles puts down her superhero workbook and starts to follow when Batman stops her.
BATMAN: Bubbles, this could be dangerous and we must take extra care not to be detected. Stay here and call for backup if we aren't back in twenty minutes.
BUBBLES: But I'm....!
ROBIN (putting a hand on her shoulder): Don't worry, Kiddo, it's only your first day. You'll be going in with us soon enough.
Bubbles smiles and sits on the back of the car so that she can keep an eye on the building. Batman and Robin approach the warehouse as inconspicuously as they can.
ROBIN: Perhaps we should go in the front door this time. The worst we could find is a fanatical environmentalist group, not any major bad guys.
BATMAN: I would tend to agree with you, Old Chum, but the computers show that the elevator has not been inspected since the company went out of business, so it may not be safe, and there are a lot of stairs.
With a few twirls of his line, Batman throws his batterang to the top of the building and they begin to climb, Robin first. About halfway up, a window suddenly pops open and RINGO STARR pops his head out.
RINGO (smiling, with heavy English accent): Hey, the dynamic duo! What brings you gents up this way?
BATMAN: We are investigating some suspicious disasters, kind citizen.
ROBIN: What are you doing in this abandoned warehouse, Mr. Starr?
RINGO: Please, call me Ringo. Anyway, my career has not been doing too well recently and someone else owns the rights to all me songs, so this was the only flat where I could afford the rent.
ROBIN: Couldn't you go on tour again?
RINGO: No no no no, I don't do that no more...
BATMAN (interrupting): As much as we'd love to discuss career strategy with you, we must be on our way.
ROBIN: Best of luck.
RINGO: All right. Thanks for stoppin' by.
Ringo closes the window as the two continue their climb to the top floor.
CUT TO:
SCENE: TOP FLOOR, EDISON WAREHOUSE - DAY
After they enter through a window, Batman and Robin have to regain their balance because the floor slopes down to their right. Suddenly, the window slams shut behind them and green gas starts to fill the room.
ROBIN: My gosh, Batman! How did they know we were here!?
BATMAN: I don't know, Robin. (coughs) It's knockout gas, and Alfred only ordered more Bat-anti-knockout-gas pills yesterday... (coughing)
The two slowly fall to the ground and pass out.
FADE OUT
FADE IN
SCENE: ROOF OF THE EDISON WAREHOUSE - DAY
Batman and Robin slowly regain consciousness and find themselves in a large basin, which they realize is a giant coffee cup on one of the billboards. Standing next to them, RIDDLER and his two henchmen, LIMERICK and HAIKU, watch them. Riddler is tall and very skinny, wearing a tight green cotton suit with several types of question marks printed all over it. Above them, there is a gigantic bell-shaped coffeepot on a large hinge.
HAIKU: Boss, why don't we just shoot them and get it over with?
RIDDLER (angry): Fool! Every time I've tried that they always say, "You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man in cold blood." They're right, and I just can't stand it when they're right! (smiling) So, we will do it this way, but first I must give them my riddle...
LIMERICK: But boss, every time you do that they figure it out and thwart you. C'mon, can't we just skip the clues for once...
LIMERICK and HAIKU: PLEEEEEASE!?
RIDDLER: Silence!
ROBIN: You'll never get away with this, evil fiend!
RIDDLER: Perhaps you're right, Boy Blunder...
HAIKU (whispering to Limerick): He always has been....
RIDDLER: shhh!...but I am sure that I have you this time. You see, we have replaced the fine coffee normally served here with sulfuric-acid crystals. When this eyesore of an advertisement pours its next cup in about twenty minutes, you two will become a "double flatte." (much gratuitous evil laughter) Now for the riddle: How are my comrades and I like bakers who just added ten-times as much yeast as we should have?
BATMAN: That's easy: soon you will have more dough than you know what to do with. You can do better than that!
RIDDLER: Blast it! I wish I had more time to make a good one, but I didn't even realize that you were coming until Ringo came up to pay his rent. Okay, okay, here's a better one: What keeps going up and up while prices keep coming down? Also, which highway is the fastest to travel even though everyone keeps stopping to see the sights? Well, those two will have to do. We must be on our way now, so ta ta, and don't be boiling mad at us!
Riddler laugh maniacally and his henchmen give each other exasperated looks as the three run back into the building.
ROBIN: Holy wake up and smell the coffee, Batman! What do we do now?
BATMAN: Don't worry Robin - Bubbles should be calling for backup right about now.
CUT TO:
SCENE: EXT. WATERFRONT DISTRICT, GOTHAM CITY - DAY
Bubbles is sitting on the back of the Batmobile, coloring in her superhero workbook, kicking her legs back and forth.
BUBBLES (singing): Coloring, coloring, coloring, doo dee doo....
CUT TO:
SCENE: INT. HALL OF JUSTICE BRIEFING ROOM- DAY
Superman and Buttercup fly into the room and put their hull fragments on the floor. Superman shows Buttercup how to start the micrograph tracer and spectral analyzers on the samples. Suddenly, the double doors burst open with an explosion! LEX LUTHOR and MANTA rush in. Lex is a tall, pale man with a muscular build and a toupee so obvious that most people would put it outside their front door and write "welcome" on it. Manta Wears a dark grayish-purple skin suit and an oval helmet with a few black hoses extending into a dark gray backpack, perhaps diving tanks. His face mask is just big enough to show where his eyes would be, but only an eerie yellowish glow emanates through the glass.
BUTTERCUP: Let's get 'em!
While still facing the enemies, Superman puts a hand in front of Buttercup, as if to say "not yet."
SUPERMAN: Lex and Manta, how did you get in here?
MANTA: Apparently you cannot afford good security guards anymore, so we were able to slip in with a tour group.
LEX: Yes, we heard that you super fools are short on green these days. (looking at Buttercup) And apparently you like "short and green" too! (he laughs as Buttercup's face turns red with anger)
MANTA (pulling out a big box): But since greens keep people healthy, we brought you some green... (opening the box) At least it will keep US healthy!
As the cover opens, a large green rock glows eerily and a faint hum emanates from it.
SUPERMAN (shocked): Great Scott! Kryptonite! My only great weakness, robbing me of my strength.... (he slinks to the floor)
LEX (sarcastically): Really? We weren't sure if it was really your weakness, but thanks for clearing that up for us. (he laughs again)
BUTTERCUP: Why you...!
Buttercup flies towards Manta at full speed and knocks him down, sending the kryptonite sliding into a wall and then bouncing over to Superman. Lex Luthor draws a gun and fires at Buttercup, but she narrowly avoids all of the bullets. When the gun is empty, he throws it at Buttercup but she stands firm and lets it bounce off of her chest. Then she flies into his stomach, sending him into a wall. Meanwhile, Manta pulls a heating pipe from the wall and directs the steam at Buttercup, throwing her back. The two villains escape as the room fills with steam.
Buttercup is about to follow when she remembers that Superman is in trouble. She bends the steam pipe closed and then turns into a tornado, condensing the steam into a large puddle. She quickly grabs the kryptonite and flies outside. There, she disintegrates it with her heat vision, letting its fragments harmlessly blow away in the warm breeze. She rushes back in to check on Superman.
BUTTERCUP: Are you all right!
SUPERMAN (weakly): Yes, I'll be fine in a few minutes. (cough) You were great, but you just got one thing a bit backwards: when they fire bullets at you and then throw the gun....
CUT TO:
SCENE: DECK OF "SILVER HAMMER" - MORNING
Lind is still firing missiles at the invisible jet, getting closer with each shot. Each time the plane tries to move out of range, Lind uses a few well-placed shots to force it to turn back.
ATZMEY: Felicia, you're going to hurt them! I only wanted to raise awareness about fossil-fuel destroying our society, but I'm not gonna help you kill them!
LIND (standing up, enraged): You will help me kill them or I will kill you!
Dr. Lind throws off her lab coat, glasses, and wig, revealing herself as CHEETAH, with mock cat ears, a yellow faux-fur business suit with black spots, and a long tail to match. Two crewmembers tear away their sailor suits and reveal themselves as her assistants, wearing similarly-colored outfits. One grabs Dr. Atzmey and the other loads the launcher.
CHEETAH: I was hoping to keep the blame on you and turn you over to the authorities, but it does not matter now. Lock him in the brig!
The first henchman drags Atzmey below while Cheetah fires again. Suddenly, it the wind picks up and slowly the launcher, the deck, and even the villains start to turn white. Blossom moves in front of the ship while using her ice powers to freeze the boat in place. However, the water will not freeze and she soon exasperates herself without stopping the ship, but the hydraulic lines on the missile launcher burst in the extreme cold, disabling it. Blossom zooms to the back of the ship, landing in front of Cheetah and her second henchman.
BLOSSOM: Not so fast, Catwoman!
CHEETAH: Why can't anyone get it right!? I AM NOT CATWOMAN! I am Cheetah!
The henchman pulls out a gun and the first one returns to deck, sneaking up behind Blossom with a net. Suddenly, the ship is violently knocked sideways. Blossom jumps back into the air and accidentally catches the net-wielding villain, so she takes the initiative to wrap him up in his own net. Aquaman jumps from the water and knocks the gun-slinging bad guy off the ship and into the mouth of a friendly baleen whale, one of many who are holding the ship in place.
During the commotion, Cheetah makes her way to a small metal escape capsule, which roars away from the ship. Seeing this, the rest of the crew surrenders without a fight. Wonder Woman sets her jet to hover over the captured boat and joins Blossom and Aquaman on deck.
BLOSSOM: Thanks for coming, Aquaman, or else he would have got me with the net.
AQUAMAN: No problem. Hey, you made quite a cold slick in the water - even I'm freezing. Brrrrr!
BLOSSOM: I was trying to freeze the boat in place, but I just couldn't do it. (hanging her head) I guess I failed...
Wonder Woman uses her golden lasso to retrieve the first henchman from the whale. Then, she wraps it around the entangled henchman as well.
AQUAMAN: It was probably because the freezing temperature of salt water is much lower than for fresh water.
WONDER WOMAN: Besides, you stopped them from firing on me and helped capture the ship. I'd say you get a gold star. (to prisoners) Where did Cheetah go? What is her plan?
HENCHMAN 1 (struggling): She probably returned to the Legion of Doom headquarters, but we don't know where it is.
HENCHMAN 2 (visible distressed): She never lets us go there. We were only told that we had to sink oil tankers, but we don't know why.
BLOSSOM: How do we know that you two are telling the truth!? (moving right into the first henchman's face) After all, you aren't exactly citizens of the month.
AQUAMAN: Because Wonder Woman's magic lasso forces everyone ensnared in it to tell the truth. It saves us a lot of time that way. Anyway, the Navy will be here soon to take the ship and its crew into custody, and my friends here will make sure everyone stays put until then.
WONDER WOMAN: Let's get back to the Hall of Justice and let everyone know what we found out.
CUT TO:
SCENE: EXT. WATERFRONT DISTRICT, GOTHAM CITY - DAY
Bubbles is still coloring when she hears car doors slam and then the car pulling away. She looks at the clock in the Batmobile and thinks out loud.
BUBBLES: Let's see.... The big hand is on the two.... and the little one is on the ten..... but when we got here the little one was on the nine and the big one.... hmmmm, I'd better ask before I make a mistake.
Bubbles puts her crayons away and flies above the Edison warehouse.
BUBBLES (shouting sweetly): Baaaaatman? Rooobin? What time did we get here?
She suddenly sees Batman and Robin's predicament as the giant coffee pot starts to tilt down, steam ominously rising from the spout.
BUBBLES: Oh no! They're going to be scalded by the hot COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
In a flash, she streaks away, returning a moment later with a tanker car from Knot's Creamery. She zooms over the coffee cup and rips open the shiny steel container. Fresh cream floods into the cup, neutralizing the heat and diluting the acid as the deadly liquid streams in from the spout. For good measure, she continues to pour the cream for a few seconds after the flow has stopped, rinsing off her partners. After returning the wrecked tanker to the street, she quickly smashes the cup and unties the dynamic duo.
ROBIN: Holy extra cream and sugar, you saved us!
BUBBLES: I forgot what time we got here because I was coloring. I hope you're not mad at me.
BATMAN: Not at all, Little Sparkle, because instead of guessing or hiding your mistake, you came right out and asked for help.
ROBIN (irritated): ...and SAVED OUR LIVES!
BATMAN: Yes, and that too. While we're in town, let's say a quick hello to Alfred and change into some dry uniforms, but we still must hurry back to the Hall of Justice.
CUT TO:
SCENE: HALL OF JUSTICE BRIEFING ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON
All eight heroes are sitting around the center console, discussing the crisis.
WONDER WOMAN: The people on the Silver Hammer were part of a fanatical futurist-environmentalist group, but they only wanted to cut down on fossil fuel use. The ship, tracking equipment, and missile launchers were donated by what they believed to be sympathetic millionaires.
SUPERMAN: But if the Legion of Doom is behind this, then they must be up to something far more sinister.
As the adults discuss the clues, Bubbles colors some more. Buttercup quietly walks over to Bubbles and tells her to pay attention, much to Bubbles' chagrin. Meanwhile, Blossom borrows Diana's golden lasso. She wraps it around her waist and studies it while walking over to Buttercup. She removes it and simply holds it against her own uniform.
BLOSSOM (quietly): Hey, Buttercup, I was thinking that we could make our uniforms a little fancier, too.
BUTTERCUP (whispering loudly): No way! Aquaman is the king of Atlantis and he doesn't wear anything fancy. He just does his job and everyone knows who he is because he's good, not because he dresses funny. We should be paying attention!
BLOSSOM: Well, being flashy doesn't mean that it's not useful. Wonder Woman uses this to catch bad guys; her shiny bracelets deflect bullets and rays, and she can use her tiara as a boomerang. Anyway, I think my bow is enough, and this color would look better on you.
Blossom matter-of-factly wraps the golden lasso around Buttercup's waist. Buttercup simply gives up, raising her arms to allow Blossom this little game of dress up.
BUTTERCUP (loudly): Hey, this IS really pretty with my green dress!
Buttercup quickly covers her mouth, not knowing why she just said that. Embarrassed, she tries to take the lasso off but finds that she will not use her strength to remove it. The senior superheroes notice what is going on and stop to watch.
BLOSSOM (slyly): Okay, Buttercup, now you have to tell the truth: Why do you pick on Bubbles so much?
BUTTERCUP (struggling against the effects): Because she is such a bb...bb uh, because SHE'S CUTE AND I'M NOT! And everyone likes her more than me...
BLOSSOM (shocked, dropping the lasso): Buttercup, that's not true: I like you both the same, and Master Foo liked you.
BUBBLES (jumping down from her seat and hugging Buttercup): And I like you, and Ivan likes you best! But you can pick on me a little if it makes you feel better.
SUPERMAN (kneeling down, putting a hand on her shoulder): Buttercup, I like you a lot, and that was even before you saved me today.
BATMAN: Yes, if any of us didn't like you a lot we wouldn't have asked you to become a junior member.
Buttercup smiles as the heroes reassure Buttercup. As Robin is looking at the girls, he notices a drawing in Bubbles' workbook.
ROBIN (looking at one of Bubbles' pictures): Hey, what's this?
BUBBLES (zooming to the table): That is the car on the street by the warehouse - it had a real pretty picture on the back. Some men drove away in it just before I looked for you, and one of them was really funny looking.
Batman and Robin look at the picture, then each other. Batman punches in a few keys on the computer and after a moment they both smile at what they see on the screen.
CUT TO:
SCENE: VILE SWAMP, NEW JERSEY - LATE AFTERNOON
In the thicket of a dense swamp, bubbles of mud and goop seep up from hidden depths. A faint hum grows louder and louder as the bubbles become fast and furious. The whole ground seems to explode and rush away as a forty-foot tall black ship, in the shape of a neo-modernistic skull with window "eyes" aglow, rises from the murky depths and comes to rest on the surface.
ZOOM: in through window.
CUT TO:
SCENE: LEGION OF DOOM CONFERENCE ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON
A dark wood paneled room with a twenty-foot ceiling has the feel of any boardroom. Cheetah, Lex Luthor, Manta, Riddler, and Ringo Starr sit in large, soft leather chairs around a long oak conference table. SOLOMON GRUNDY enters from the control room as the ship comes to a rest. He is seven feet tall and has a grumpy expression carved on his stone-like face.
LEX: Solomon, why do you have to surface the ship before every single meeting?
CHEETAH: Yeah. After all, with no one monitoring the defense systems we are most vulnerable. We should do this while we're underground.
MANTA: And it wastes fuel too, which we ourselves are causing to become more expensive as we speak!
RINGO (still with a heavy accent): Well, I kind of like having the natural sunlight for a change, not that being underwater wasn't really cool 'n all. Actually, I was imaginin' being on a real yellow submarine, like we used to sing about.
CHEETAH: And Riddler, WHY did you bring HIM along?
RIDDLER: Well, none of us would make a good spokesperson for our new alternative-energy product web site. Besides, he needs the work.
LEX: Close, Rid., very close. However, we really need someone like Paul McCartney, or I was even thinking Winona Ryder...
SOLOMON: It doesn't matter: once we starve the world of petroleum we can sell our alternative-energy products over the Internet. After a few months, we will go public, becoming mega-billionaires from the I.P.O.! [Note: "Initial Public Offering," the first sale of stock in the company]
MANTA: But first we must continue to undermine the distribution and use of fossil fuels. Getting those misguided environmentalists to help us was a good start, but we must make the oil companies look really bad so that the general public will HATE oil and gas.
GRUNDY: There is a consulting company in Massachusetts that once "proved" smoking wasn't harmful: perhaps we should hire them to discredit the oil industry.
CHEETAH: No, most of those firms do a lot of work for the big oil companies....
Suddenly there is a crash and the whole room shakes violently. The large comfortable chairs spin and roll wildly, throwing the occupants around the room. The far wall crashes open and the eight SuperFriends rush in, the three Powerpuff Girls hovering at eye level with the rest.
SUPERFRIENDS (all together): NOT SO FAST, LEGION OF DOOM!
RIDDLER (bewildered): How could you have discovered our hideout? The riddles that I gave you were simply plugs for our new web site.
BATMAN: We realized that soon enough, but your knock-out gas and acid were overpowered by crayons.
ROBIN: That's right. Bubbles drew a picture of your car while waiting for us, and she included the license plate number.
MANTA (to Riddler): You fool! You didn't register your car here, did you!?
RIDDLER: Well, taxes and insurance are much cheaper here, and I hardly get my mail in Gotham anymore. Re-registering plates can be a real pain....
WONDER WOMAN: Where you're going, you can make your own license plates.
LEX (pulling himself up to the conference table): You'll have to catch us, first, super twerps!
Lex pushes a button on the table and a tray with six cups of hot coffee quickly rises from the center of the table. Cursing, he quickly pushes another button and a trap door opens under the SuperFriends, causing Batman, Robin, Wonder Woman, and Superman to slide out a chute into the swamp. However, the girls do not fall because they are still levitating.
Grundy rushes to the control room and starts the ship while Lex, Manta, Riddler, and Cheetah face the girls.
Riddler starts throwing the hot cups of coffee at them, but Blossom freezes them with her ice powers and deflects them with her wrists, in Wonder Woman style.
BUBBLES (angrily): What is it with you and coffee!?
Bubbles flies in and socks Riddler in the face, sending him backwards into a chair. Manta then smacks her with a tray full of donuts, sending her into a wall. Buttercup rushes over and grabs Manta by one of his hoses.
BUTTERCUP (punching Manta): THIS is for trying to hurt Superman! (ripping out one of his hoses hose) You hosed me, so now I'm gonna un-hose you!
Manta falls to the floor, struggling to cover the broken port on his helmet. Blossom flies in on Lex Luthor while Cheetah jumps onto the table and faces Buttercup. However, Ringo grabs Cheetah by her tail and knocks her off balance while Riddler, still slumped in a chair, lifts both legs and kicks Buttercup away.
RINGO: We all want to change the world, but when you talk about destruction don't you know you can count me out! (Cheetah and Riddler turn on Ringo with angry expressions) HELP!
BUBBLES (punching Riddler): And THIS is for being so careless with hot drinks all the time!
The force of her punch sends Riddler onto the conference table and he lands in the opening for the coffee tray, which half closes to trap him.
As Blossom flies at Lex, he presses another button on his chair. There are two soft chimes as a panel on the wall lights up with, "Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts." Quickly, he fumbles another button and a giant windshield wiper outside scrapes across the conference room window.
LUTHOR: I should 'a labeled these!
BLOSSOM (punching Luthor out): And THIS is for shooting at my sister!
Luther's toupee is momentarily suspended in mid air as his head falls to the floor. Buttercup drags Ringo under the conference table while Blossom flies in behind Cheetah, rips off her tail, and lassos her with it. After dropping her next to the helpless Manta and Lex, the girls rush into the control room to find Superman and and Wonder Woman holding Grundy trapped in the golden lasso.
SUPERMAN: Aquaman had the catfish of the swamp jump into the intake manifolds so that they couldn't take off.
GRUNDY (resigned): It didn't matter - we were out of gasoline anyways.
WONDER WOMAN: Batman and Robin have contacted the police and they should be here any minute to clean up the mess.
BLOSSOM (to her sisters): There is still one more thing we should do, (to the SuperFriends) if it is okay with you.
WONDER WOMAN: Sure. What do you have in mind?
CUT TO:
SCENE: VILE SWAMP, OUTSIDE LEGION OF DOOM SHIP - LATE AFTERNOON
The Batmobile is parked in front of the skull ship and various police vehicles approach with lights flashing. Aquaman is concentrating as the various catfish and other creatures extract themselves from the ship's manifolds and return to the water.
There is a brilliant flash as a near rainbow of pink, blue, and green streak out and criss-cross the skull ship for a few moments. Batman, Robin, and Aquaman cheer and some bewildered police officers approach the scene as the girls then land on top of a giant smiley-faced spaceship.
FADE OUT
SCENE: HALL OF JUSTICE BRIEFING ROOM - DAY
Wonder Woman is standing, ready to speak, and the other seven heroes are sitting around the center console in the leather chairs for the Legion of Doom's ship.
WONDER WOMAN: Well, we have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that several oil companies are going to give us operating grants, in appreciation for our work in saving their industry. However, the money will be coming in over an extended period, as they need to recover from the three lost tankers and the cleanup efforts.
ROBIN: That is still great news. But what's the bad news?
WONDER WOMAN: Well, with the Legion of Doom out of business for good, Colonel Wilcox suspects that our allocation from the Department of Defense will be dropping over the next year, (sadly) so we will not be able to extend the junior program beyond the initial one-month period.
The entire crew looks sad and Bubbles begins to cry softly.
ROBIN (patting Bubbles on the back): Don't be so sad, Bubbles. You still have the rest of the month, and perhaps you can come back in a few years. Besides, you can always visit us. (reaching into his book bag) Anyway, here is something that Alfred and I made for you.
He pulls out a small utility belt and puts it around Bubbles waist.
BUBBLES (calming down and looking at the belt): Oh, it has a flashlight, some crayons, chalk, and even a place to hold onto Octi! (She hugs Robin) Thank you!
WONDER WOMAN: Oh, and Buttercup, for you...
BUTTERCUP (worried): No, I don't want another belt again!
Everyone else laughs.
WONDER WOMAN: No, not that. Blossom and I were talking and if you want to visit Paradise Island for part of your summer vacation, it can probably be arranged.
ROBIN (joking): Can I go, too?
WONDER WOMAN (also joking): Sorry, Robin, the women there are all too old for you.
BATMAN (looking at Bubbles hugging Robin): And you seem to do very well with younger women, anyway.
Everyone else laughs and Bubbles kisses Robin on the cheek.
FADE OUT
THE END
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